A New Map for Relationships – Creating True Love at Home & Peace on the Planet
Reducing the risks posed by nuclear weapons is Marty’s profession and our shared passion. Three facts explain how that fits with creating true love at home:
First, both our lives are far better.
That feeds our souls and motivates us. Bringing peace into our home also makes us more convincing advocates for a more peaceful world.
Second, few people are interested in nuclear weapons.
It’s been an uphill battle to get society to deal with this issue. But then we remembered that we initially came to this work out of a desire to save our marriage, not to save the world. We came to see a strong interplay between the two goals and found that working on global issues, such as the nuclear threat, accelerated our work on improving our marriage. We’ll explain more about that in our book.
Third, as Dorothie says in our book:
When people are confronted with the urgent need for radical change in international relations, they often ask, “What difference can I make on such a big issue?” But if the first step is for them to radically change their personal relationships for the better, who else can bring that about?
Individually, no one of us can heal the planet. But, if enough of us work hard enough to succeed in healing our personal relationships, it can be the seed for global change. It’s somewhat mysterious, maybe even mystical. But it is true.
Technology and communication
There’s also an interesting connection between Marty’s work that was recognized by the Million Dollar Turing Award and our book. Public key cryptography was a radically new way of communicating that at first seemed impossible. How could two people talking across a crowded room, with no prearrangement, exchange information privately from all the others listening in? Yet that’s what we showed how to do. And how could a digital signature be recognizable by everyone, but only created by the legitimate signer? Once people opened up to those radical, new possibilities, previously unimaginable options were opened, including modern electronic commerce, secure software updates and more.
Interpersonal and international perspective
The same is true of the interpersonal approach that we’ll describe in our book. We had to develop a new way of communicating that seemed impossible from our old map’s vantage point. Once we found the courage to break with that old perspective and entertain the new one, our lives were immeasurably improved. And the same will be true at an international level when society finds the courage to tear up its old map.
While each person’s journey is unique, we hope that revealing our mistakes through these conversations, and how we overcame them, will help others do the same more quickly and with less pain. And, if enough of us do that, the world’s problems will also be resolved, since societal behavior derives from our individual beliefs and behaviors. We invite you to join us on this voyage of discovery and healing.
The essence of this book is: “You have to believe in the seemingly impossible gifts of unconditional love and a more peaceful planet, and then dedicate yourself to discovering how to achieve them.”
Ideals like becoming more compassionate and large goals like solving the nuclear crisis are attainable. Through fifty years of marriage we’ve learned how to help navigate extremely difficult issues. If you’re struggling with relationships of your own, romantic or otherwise, there are ways to restore trust and love. For us, the first step was deciding both that we were dedicated to staying together and that we could change.
Connect with us
For new ideas about creating true love at home and peace on the planet, join us for important updates. If you want to learn more about us, please visit “Who We Are” or pay us a visit on Twitter, Facebook, Goodreads, and Instagram. You’re also always invited to connect with us here with questions, ideas, or friendly hellos. We look forward to having an ongoing and meaningful conversation with you.